Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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