how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize