Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
