Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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