You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
