I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
should my penis look like a turkey
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
