You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
