All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
