I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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