youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
