If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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