the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Found the puke drawer
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
