I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
