somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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