so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
