Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
