I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
