It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
