I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
