Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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