I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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