M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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