This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
