she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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