thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
