we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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