its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
