and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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