I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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