You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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