He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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