A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
