I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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