No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
