Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hippo gnu deer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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