I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
