Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
