i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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