I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize