4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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