Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
