Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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