no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
