I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had to cum in my sink.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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