Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I sprained my soul last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
