You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
