The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
