i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
