i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
