the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
