Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize