it hurts more in the daytime
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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