last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Please don't give away my fajitas
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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