my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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