I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I love having hate sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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