i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
