You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How external is "for external use only"?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
