My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
