So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
