Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
