so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
