we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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